10 Ways Single Moms can Spend Their Time when the Kids are Away

You (Insert your name here) will and must go out no matter how relaxing staying home feels and looks… flip-flops, cozy robes, hot chocolate and 24 hour cable are a no-no…. So come on, get going, be productive and act grown up.

 

 

Moms must practice self-Care.

Outside of  a regular school schedule; “Summertime, Christmastime and Holidays” is sometimes all you get to relax without your children around if you are a single mom with sole custody, and with no support system near you.

This is because people show up and help out, they give you a break, helping you recharge. Be grateful for this periods when family members, friends and even the ex helps out with my kids and please be grateful for the people helping you out too. (FYI – The older the kids get, non-custodial parents make themselves more available for full day and sometimes weekend sleepover and friends and family feel more capable in your absence)

Here is my story, when this happened in the past I would spend the time cleaning and de-cluttering the house, run errands, you know, like grocery shopping and returning books to the library, etc. I realized that after 10 months of school I mentally shut down like clock work, almost as if my body and brain knew I had no responsibility, my body and brain would become inactive and I would do nothing outdoors.

The plan is to always have an upfront plan

The plan is to always have an upfront plan and no backup plan.

A plan for when someone is being generous to take your kids out of your care for a few hours, or a day or two or even a month.

The day shouldn’t be for sitting around and reading a book, fiction or nonfiction and attending to other unending tasks and chores in your home you can do that when the kids are around.

You my dear lovely and under-pampered sister need the plan for when that time comes; have it on your phone, in your journal, make it a song.

This “my kids are away day” is a free day, not a day for sleeping in your pajama’s all day and eating leftover pizza, ice-cream or eating peanut butter straight from the jar, …just because you want to stay indoors….

It’ s a day to be a grown up, to go out and have random conversations with random people you don’t know and may never meet again, it’s called socializing.

A day to have conversations with people your age and older that bring a different perspective than your children’s.

It’ s a day to be a grown up, to go out and have random conversations with random people you don’t know and may never meet again, it’s called socializing.  It’s a day to have conversations with people your age and older that bring a different perspective than your children’s.

But, but … you say, it’s so much more relaxing to stay home, I say “Yes and “No. You (Insert your name here) will and must go out no matter how relaxing staying home feels and looks… flip-flops, cozy robes, hot chocolate and 24 hour cable are a no-no….

Come on, get going, be productive and act grown up.

You don’t need to be a single momma for this to work for you, self-care is taking timeout for yourself as a person, human being and as a mom as you would take care of your child.

So when that break comes, and it will, don’t forget to pamper yourself because it will come, it will happen and it will be gone before you know it: It took me a long time to figure this out.

Here’s the plan

Start with this – The first and absolute first thing to do is, shout as loud as you can, play your favorite music as low or loud as you can and dance as wild or as timidly as you want for as long or short as you can.

 And here is the list of “to do” for when the kids are away, do all or do one or combine on the same day or do all in one week.

1. Visit a spa and get a deep tissue massage or facial.
2. Get your hair and nails done.
3. Go to a restaurant alone, and stay to eat by yourself and please order something outrageous.
4. Call a friend and invite them to meet-up with you at an event, restaurant or just to catch-up.
5. Find a local networking group on eventbrite, meet-up and hangout with other people who share your passion.
6. Take public transportation or take the longest drive route to hangout with a friend or family in another state.
7. Call the cleaning company to clean your house.
8. Don’t do your own laundry, drop your clothes off at the laundress or cleaners.
9. Hit the gym for a workout in gym clothes and work your “butt and waist off”.
10. Go watch a movie.

 

GM, xoxoxo

Sincerely in Joy,

 

Change Watch – Don’t forget to take pictures, and lots of it!

Article updated July 6, 2017.