Election, Giving Back, Ignite Passion, Leadership, Religion / November 12, 2016

The Love Story and Romance of the 2016 Election Loss – Our Hurt and Healing

 

You will realize that the world is okay.

That it is safe to believe again.

That it is safe to be authentic.

That the hurt heals.

And life can, if you choose start again.

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How I relate as a Start with Why Follower

Of course this article started differently, as a ‘moment of impact and loving again post”. It definitely did not start out as a healing story for the election year 2016. It did start out as a believing again article.

This article started the second day after I met the well know speaker and author Simon Sinek. An all-round amazing guy, no pretense even in the few minutes I spent in his company.  And he makes sense, a lot.  He can do no wrong by me. He practices what he preaches, he engages people off the stage and on stage. Listens to you attentively, yes, he looked out for us as we crossed the street. He shouted out to a random stranger how beautiful or something they were and I saw their eyes pop up. He relates to his staff so humbly and genuinely, that they know what they need to do and not do without him saying much.

I now realize that I had been hurt and hadn’t even known it, that I had not had anything to believe in and that’s what Simon did for me on October 27th 2016. He gave me a reason to believe in people again!  He got me moving.

He reminded me of Hillary.  After the election loss, and believing again and that’s how the story changed. Some of Simon’s ideas from Simon’s being a follower in the movement will intersect in this article, and that is because at the end of the day, Hillary started a followership with this year’s election and this is what Simon’s movement is too.

A sneak preview – before the story line changed

That Saturday; well for me, it started like this…

Friday – “Got on the Greyhound to leave New York at 1:30 am and headed back to Maryland. I got home around 4:30. Woke the kids up to get ready for school and by 7:30 I had dropped the last son off at school and made it to work that Friday for my job and had two cups of coffee”

 

Saturday – “After a good long sleep on Friday night, gosh… and lord did my body ache? Sitting down reflecting about what had happened on that Thursday. I was thinking and staring at my personalized book and wall poster from Simon, and like Oprah’s ha-ha moment it hit me right in the head like a 2 by 6 piece of plywood.”

 

Ha-ha moment – believing again

My ha-ha was realizing it was all about me, for me a super Fan, who had  followed him and his movement and had a connection to his values and beliefs because they looked  mine.  But not knowing he was slowly reigniting my belief in people, the good that can come out of them.

It’s … when you don’t even know something will hurt until it happens, you don’t know something is broken until it is.

For me, personally it was about … believing again.  It’s in finding something to love or believe in again, it’s in passion lost and regained, and something to believe in when you didn’t even know you had fallen out of love or stopped believing.

 

Triumph, loss and redemption

We ran an election of emotions in 2016; it was about our values, our beliefs and hope.

Why would an election loss hurt so much, I slowly walked with a defeated gait; I was mourning, I’m still mourning.

The aftermath of this election, the hurt and heart ache, the brokenness that comes with it that you never knew you had? The one you feel when you are hurt or when someone dies or a break-up that’s what it feels like, yes when they are that close to you, you feel it. Yes, we got too close, and I love that I did, no regret here.

It’s official; it’s a break-up.

 

All People – What we fought for, that all people are created equal

The values, the belief that all men were created equal, to live peaceably with all men.

It hurts more when you went all in for values and beliefs and you come out in love; and that’s what the election was. The outreach was great the connection between the people was focused, Hillary a representative of the Democratic Party, gave me a reason to believe in people again! And the great thing is she wanted us to cause the change together, to come on board to do this together. She like Simon created a movement.

The cause spoke more to some of us than others, the ones who could relate financially and also as a person with issues that needed to be addressed, the disenfranchised. We were the organizers of the local meetings and events, the people who made calls, the ones who voted early, the inner circle, the local coordinators and that was because she wanted us cause a change together with her.

The Democratic Party stood up for all people, our party ran on love and acceptance of all people irrespective of our education, religion, gender or race.  It was not about Hillary, but, about the people.

The Republican party won by not standing against Trump concerning the use of his words, I applaud all the ones in the party that did; but the majority of them, they did not stand for people when he spoke to us shaming us all based on gender, race, religion, education and immigration status.

The protest have started and they are personal for most; to the way he spoke to each and every one of us, and it’s not only about the electorate, but really the way he has treated certain and spoken down on Americans.

 

You can take a break, hit Reset.

When life gets too crazy you can hit reset and take time for you, Simon said.

So as we roll into week 2, after the election of 2016. I hope you are healing, I’m healing slowly too.

Did you do some of these things to heal the hurt this past week? I did.

  • I ate comfort food and eat remembering every bite of it
  • Screamed; I did three times
  • Work through the emotions
  • Post, comment, tweet
  • Watched a movie that you’ve watched a thousand time before
  • Listened to a heartbreak song

Check out some songs I listened to here;

You’ll be Back – Hamilton

Something to believe in – Jason Gray

  • and I Cried

Work through the emotions, don’t bottle it up… everyone seems to pass it off easily.  If friends won’t listen post to social media and find camaraderie in people you don’t know or call a life coach or counselor.

 

Read this part, when you are ready to start again, – many days after, or many, many months after.

You were part of something amazing and you just didn’t know it.

I love a good romantic story, so most of the things I relate to also have a lot to do with sentimental what not’s.

There is the love of God, of country, American literature and history and world history and architecture, creative arts and stuff like world creation, apologetics and God as the great romantic. Meaning give me a good movie, song or play with any of this and I’m hooked.

Hence, started my acknowledgement of moments of Impact; I now realize it starts gradually, once it happens you get it, that when everything else that happened before then will all of a sudden make sense the dots connects.

Some of us will relate to Mr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson that awesome scientists whose work and relationship with the Cosmos changed our lives two years ago; but whose life was changed by his mentor, now that’s was a moment of impact.

Meeting Simon Sinek was a moment of Impact for me.

Love romance? Then you will relate to a good tear jerker like the Nicholas Sparks Movie with Channing Tatum called -The Vow. Remember, when he was narrating at the beginning of the movie, in watching it, you understand in detail what a moment of impact means.

How about this, are you a tabloid Junkie? Remember when that tabloid gossip paper broke the story on the Duggar family… what good credible celebrity news ever came out of them before that.  But, yep it was a moment of impact.

Understand the moment of Impact ~So for this election, it is the fact that many days after or many, many  months after; depending on how you process healing, when you are hit with the fact that things are changing,  that things can get better, it doesn’t hurt as much or just plain that we can laugh again.

  1. You will realize that the world is okay.
  2. That it is safe to believe again.
  3. That it is safe to be authentic.
  4. That the hurt heals.
  5. And life can, if you choose start again.

And that’s it; the ha-ha, moment, the moment of impact.

From my heart, xoxoxo

 

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Business, Etiquette, Loving Life, Party Etiquette / November 12, 2016

Romaine Calm – By Jeff Haden

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You probably realize you shouldn’t stare at your cellphone, eyes glazed over, during a business dinner, but there’s more to it than that, of course. Practicing proper table etiquette and behaving with decorum can help you seal a deal with a potential client or even earn you a favorable impression during a meal with your boss. Sharon Schweitzer, a cross-cultural consultant, international protocol expert and the founder of Protocol & Etiquette Worldwide, has great tips for business lunches and dinners, beyond the obvious faux pas of talking with your mouth full and slurping your soup. If you made the invitation, you’re responsible

If you extended the invitation, you’re considered the host, and that means you’re paying the bill. That includes casual invitations, like, “Hey, let’s get together for dinner.”

Read up here.

 

 

I have a love of reading the news the old-fashioned way, I still get my newspaper delivered every Saturday and Sunday. So when I was flipping through my paper and saw this story, my head went back in a laugh. I wish I had read it the day before I met Simon Sinek and he said, let’s grab a drink after his book signing.

I made the cut, so I’m responsible.

I was like Yep! There is something about creating time for others, even when you don’t need to and that’s what he did. This is one of the thing he talks about, in his interviews he always appreciates a great conversation. He talks about people checking their phones and not paying attention and talks about the art of listening well.

Here is the link to a great article I saw in the Baltimore Sun, by Jeff Haden.

So what does the article talk about? It breaks down the things you need to know when you accept that invitation to dinner and what to know before sitting down.

Hope you find it helpful.

Read up here.

 

 

 

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Ignite Passion, Interviews, Leadership, Simon Sinek / November 9, 2016

My Case Study on Simon Sinek, the Why Guy – Led to a Chat with Him

Leadership and Followership.

I had the opportunity to meet the great mind in person on Thursday, October 27, 2016, at his book reading at the Barnes and Noble in New York. And I have my signed book and wall art to go with it too. I am officially a Super FAN; well I was one before I met him. As a management, business and leadership junkie, I’m super excited to have met him.

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How do you learn from someone like Simon without money for recreation, business or education in your budget, to buy books and go places he speaks at? That’s pretty much where I started.

 

So how did I learn? How do you learn from someone like Simon without being opportune enough to hang out in his immediate circle? Would you like me, love to meet him in the future? My suggestion is to get as much of the available information floating around out there. I watched and read most things I could find on him; watched his videos, read articles, absorbed his theories, the people, authors and books, that he mentioned and reviewed them to learn more about him. Get as much of the free stuff and be resourceful with it.

 

I decided to try out his theories, how do you become a follower? How do you create a movement? I implemented small changes and in some thing’s I just plain did exactly what he did.

 

  1. Early adopter – I started dedicating my time to learning his work via all mentioned above. Looked out for his Facebook posts to learn more about him. I focused on him only, not him and all the other people I admired too. I did this to test out his early adopter’s theory. Be a part of the first followers, even though I came in pretty late in the game as an adopter it has been proven to work.

 

  1. Developed better letter writing and communication skills – In letter writing, I address my letters and text messages better using his suggestions by going straight to the point.

 

  1. Bring value – My first paid gig, I asked for the same amount that Simon asked for when he had just started out and a few dollars more. Why will I ask for more when they don’t know me and I don’t have any credential for them to base my work on.

 

  1. Be consistent – Ask him the same question every time his post came up on Facebook, till he was like who is that person? That never happened, because I won a backstage pass, so the method worked but faster than I imagined.

 

I’m blown away by his authenticity this guy sells out his events, he engages with all the big timers, heads of fortune 500 companies, non-profit and government, of our time. Yet still carries the small timers along (like me) Simon still chooses to reach out.

 

The Questions I asked Simon Sinek at the Book Signing Event

 

#1 Question – Was it intentional? There seems to be a pattern with the books since Start with Why? Seems the Leaders Eat Last book, came out of the Why book and Together is Better book came out of Leaders Eat Last book.

Answer – In his words it was intentional.

Why you ask? (No pun intended) my take, anyways is.  I think it is because once you find your why as a leader; you must have great leadership skills and foster togetherness to keep your employees.

 

#2 Questions When Leadership takes a tool on the leader, who inspires the leader?

Answer – If you inspire those around you, then those around you will in-turn inspire you.

 

#3 Questions You always say take help when given. What if nobody gives or offers help to you and when you finally reach out they have excuses.  For me as a single parent, I feel like I’m always looking out for people and but no one is looking out for me, it is hard to continue to give if this happens.

Answer – If they don’t offer help or and give excuses, then maybe you were never their friend.

 

#4 QuestionsHow can I be the leader I wish I had without getting on someone’s nerve, since what I may want as a leader may in turn be irritating to them?

Answer You need to learn to have empathy and be discerning of what others want.

 

For passion and hustling you need to start with why, not what or how. Once you do, you will also have connected with your people. Or tribe as it is loosely used. It made sense that after Start with why; he would have more articles and more videos out there. So I searched and found more and more videos.

This Movement; what inspired me the most is that Simon said I could. Meaning you and me or we could share this “WHY” with others if we believe in it. He places no proprietary rights to it at all. All Simon wants is to see a world where people can wake up inspired to go to work. Imagine my joy at this, he is encouraging me on, that my dream matters too. That my dream; lives within his dream, and for me, a person who doesn’t like the spot-light and always wants not to be noticed, or pushy but probably needs it. An introvert, through and through with an idea but who isn’t forceful. It was a great PUSH; he gave me permission to speak, to be a part of a group, to believe together with others in something bigger than me.

Mopelola Gloria – xoxoxo

 

Change Watch – Is there a public person you love and admire and adds value to you?

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